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How To Behave When You Travel

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How To Behave When You Travel

The reckoning of luxury travel and fine dining in pop culture, the battle with ChatGPT, and so much more

Michelle Gross
Feb 7
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How To Behave When You Travel

thebeauyorker.substack.com
woman standing on rock facing forest

Happy February!

It feels like an eternity since I penned last month's newsletter and a lot’s gone down. The layoffs continue in media and tech, ChatGPT is trending much to every writer and high school English teacher’s chagrin, and Beyonce was paid $24 million for her controversial one-hour performance at The Royal Atlantis Dubai. Oh, and in case you missed it, a Chinese spy balloon followed me all the way from Montana to Myrtle Beach. In a Beau York minute, ya’ll.

Things on my end are busy, and I have a lot of updates to share. Right now, it’s just good to be back in my old writing chair and routine here in Beaufort. This weekend, our neighborhood is hosting its annual potluck oyster roast in the social hall by the marsh, and I can’t think of any place else on earth I’d rather be. I even have my own oyster shucker and can’t wait to get to work.

Other than oysters (which, is there anything better than fire-roasted oysters?) there’s a lot cooking this month so let’s dive in.

Flying 101

How To Behave Travel Edition

Last Fall, I was boarding a flight home from Athens, when I had a very, let’s call it contentious encounter with a fellow passenger. My flight began the pre-boarding process, and because I have status on United, I proceeded to make my way to the gate through a tight corridor that can best be described as a narrow and chaotic cluster*uck.

As I continued to inch my way ahead, I was stopped by a woman, not much older than me, wearing a grey V-neck t-shirt, black yoga pants, and a very cute amethyst crystal necklace, who loudly and aggressively turned to me and said: “who do you think you are?”

“Oh, haha,” I said, followed by “excuse me?” I thought the woman was joking.

“You think you’re SOOO special don’t you?” she continued. She was not joking. “I mean, my mom definitely thinks so,” I said in a futile attempt to defuse the situation with some mild humor. It was game over.

Confused, embarrassed, and slightly horrified, how could I explain — without sounding like a condescending and arrogant prick — that I have status with the airline that affords me the opportunity to board the plane in an earlier boarding group? What I really wanted to say to this woman was: I don’t make the rules lady, but I’ve earned this status so please move out of the way and stop making a scene!

air hostess wearing a facemask standing in the aisle of an aeroplane

But, the damage had been done. Everyone was looking, and it was the making of an angry airport mob led by an unhinged yogi wielding an energy-healing crystal who was so angry, she looked like she was ready to pop me in the face because she thought I was trying to cut her in line. I get it, nobody likes a line cutter.

My heart racing, and face burning, what I said was… nothing. I didn’t say anything. I just awkwardly continued to make my way forward and eventually onto the plane. I don’t know anyone who loves confrontation, I certainly don’t, and my heart still palpitates every time I think about that flight.

After spending the last few years in and out of airports, which are by nature high-intensity situations, I’ve seen a lot of crazy stuff go down. So when I was reading The Cut’s buzzy new etiquette guide Do You Know How To Behave? Are You Sure? that dropped last week and includes the rules of engagement for everything from dating and tipping to how to interact in a variety of social situations, I thought — this is great, we need this for travel — because it is a free-for-all out there my friends.

So I posed the question on Instagram: What’s Your #1 Travel Etiquette Issue?

I got a TON of responses, many of which dealt with personal hygiene (a lot of feet commentary) to who’s entitled to the armrest, the window shade, whether or not you should recline on short-haul flights, and how to be more equitable with overhead bin space. Then there’s the issue of masking, some people still do, many don’t. And people seem pretty divided when it comes to pets on planes. So what are the rules? Who’s in charge here? And what should the consequences or repercussions (if an) for these in-flight foot offenders be?

Have you had any close encounters of the third kind when you’ve traveled? How did you deal with it? And what do you think I should have said or done in my situation with the angry crystal lady? Drop a comment below, send me an email, slide into my DM’s. I’d love to hear from you!

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Pop Culture Corner

The Reckoning of Luxury Travel and Fine Dining

I was blown away by some of the films I saw at Sundance, and I wanted to share a few of them with you so you can put them on your radar, starting with food writer Ruth Reichel’s brilliant and incredibly poignant Food and Country. I was moved to tears by Estonian filmmaker Anna Hints first feature film Sweat Sauna Sisterhood, and for anyone looking for a doc that will have you laughing and crying by the end, I highly recommend Still: A Michael J Fox Movie which is coming to Apple TV soon.

For anyone who’s relishing this ‘eat the rich’ genre that’s been absolutely dominating the film and pop culture zeitgeist lately, I watched Triangle of Sadness on a recent Delta flight, and it’s not only up for Best Picture, but it has all of the trappings of a cult classic. In a nutshell, it’s about a group of super-wealthy travelers and an influencer couple on holiday on a super yacht in Greece whose trip takes an unexpected turn for the worse. I won’t give the rest away, it’s brilliant.

As someone who writes a lot about luxury travel, I was a big fan of this movie (and genre), and it got me thinking more and more about how film has been dovetailing into our current reality in interesting and surprising ways.

people inside greenhouse
Noma in Copenhagen will be closing in 2024

Who else saw The Menu and found the announcement that Noma is closing in 2024 (the restaurant which many people claim the film is largely based on) to be coincidental, only to proceed down a rabbit hole, reading trend piece after trend piece declaring that this is the Death of Fine Dining? Is it a coincidence? Is it a reckoning? Maybe a little bit of both? I have a lot of thoughts on the subject, and I’d love to hear yours too. Did you see Triangle or The Menu? What do you think the future of fine dining holds? Do you think the fact that Noma is closing will mark the end of fine dining? If so, should we care? Drop me a comment and let’s dig in.

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Recently Published Stories

Dose of monthly wanderlust

Here are a few stories I wrote this month. If you’d like to see more of my work, you can find my portfolio or check out my Forbes column here.

Thrillist: Where To Go Hot Spring Hopping In Japan
Forbes: The Most Romantic All-Inclusive Hotels In The U.S.
Robb Report: The Sundance Film Fest Is Back! Where to Eat, Stay and Après in Park City
Forbes: A New Surf-Inspired Lifestyle Hotel Just Opened In Santa Monica And I Got A Sneak Peek
Always On

What I’m Working On Right Now

I continue to work through a backlog of stories/assignments, and while I’m mostly hunkered down for the month of February, please don’t hesitate to give me a nudge if you don’t hear from me! In the meantime, here are the timely stories and assignments that I’m actively researching and reporting:

  • TIMELY —> I’m heading to Japan in early March (on assignment) and am actively looking for leads —> new and exciting hotels, must-visit restaurants, can’t miss experiences, let me know! I’ll be spending a few days in Okinawa before heading to Kyoto, Kinosaki, Tokyo, and beyond!

  • TIMELY—> ISO super exclusive luxury villas for an assignment timed to spring break. Luxury/exclusivity is the name of the game, with a priority on new/ish places and properties. Please send the name, location, brief description, and call out any unique amenities, rates, and hi-res images w/photo caption.

  • TIMELY/Ongoing —> For a new travel series, I’m looking for exclusive access/first-look features on new hotels that are going above and beyond in 2023.

  • EVERGREEN —> ISO aspirational travel destinations and stories. If you have something that’s a fit, please get in touch and let me know: what makes this place aspirational, why is 2023 a good time to visit, and what should readers be excited about?

  • EVERGREEN —> News, news, news! Got a hot new hotel with a celebrity-chef-driven restaurant, cool new cruise destination, over-the-top or unique itinerary launching soon? Let me know!

Editors Note

The battle of ChatGPT has just begun

Last March, I was sitting around a firepit outside of festival headquarters in Sun Valley Idaho, talking with a filmmaker who posed a very interesting question: “What is the story that I’ve written that I’m most proud of, the one that I would put on my tombstone?” he asked.

For context, because I realize that might sound weird and morbid, we were talking about Ernest Hemingway, who lived, and eventually took his own life in Sun Valley not far from where we were sitting. I’d made the pilgrimage to Hemingway’s gravesite earlier that day, and was telling my new friend the filmmaker that I was surprised, given Hemingway’s penchant for life and storytelling, that his tombstone was bereft of any words. It was just a blank slate with his name, date of birth and death, and some bottles of whisky and beer strewn along the top.

I gave a lot of thought to that question that night and still do. I don’t know if I consciously made the decision right then and there, but it wasn’t long after that I started making small, but monumental shifts in my professional life as a travel writer. Part of that shift meant focusing on the stories, projects, and places that are more meaningful to me. It also meant traveling less, which, it turns out, opened up the door to new and exciting opportunities (like launching a newsletter, among others).

Writing isn’t a numbers game for me, which as a freelancer is probably the wrong approach and mentality. I’m just not a very fast writer. I’m slow, and meticulous, almost excruciatingly so. I care a lot about the words I put to paper (or screen), and it’s a hell of a way to carve out a living. It’s also a privilege I don’t take for granted.

I was having this conversation with a colleague recently, who asked for my advice about breaking into travel writing. I told her that I’m still learning and figuring things out as I go, but I think as long as you maintain that sense of curiosity, and passion for the places you go, the people you meet, and the things you write about, that will translate into the stories you want to tell. The battle has only just begun, and maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think AI will ever be able to replicate creativity, passion and curiosity. As for my tombstone story, I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Peace, love, and pug hugs, and I’ll see you next month in JAPAN!

XO, Mich

P.S. The news and devastation in Turkey and Syria have been heartbreaking. If you have the means and are looking for a way to contribute, Time Magazine culled together a list of humanitarian organizations that you can donate to.

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How To Behave When You Travel

thebeauyorker.substack.com
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Songbirdsuek
Feb 8Liked by Michelle Gross

Love this article! You handled this gal just right. Very classy with humor…and you did not engage but went about your business. Shame on her!!! Good practice for the next timexxx

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pauline de saint just gross
Feb 7Liked by Michelle Gross

i love reading your newsltter. this newsletter touched me. your passion for discovering new worlds transpires at each word and so your zest for living. you bring positive energy in this chaotic world we live in. keep it up continuing to bring light and joy to all you read you.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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